I've had a week of reflection, frustration and insight. The reflection has come from a talk I did for my parents, for Truro Art Society. It reminded me of ways of working that I had forgotten, and knew would be good to revisit. Whenever I do a presentation it reminds me of what I have learnt and cements it further in my mind which I find rewarding. Also that I didn't get anywhere with the folio competition, which doesn't surprise me as the work I did was forced and overworked and not what I want to represent myself.
My work isn't getting noticed in the worlds that I am putting it, so I am aiming to pair it down to basics and release it gently in areas that are more personal and less commercial or competitive. It will find its place but I believe it will take time and I mustn't take it as failure. It is simply not the right time or place for it. I'm actually beginning to believe that my work has it's own personality, and it's success is determined by it's personality and how well it fits in its place of rest! So having to suit the work to it's appropriate resting place is key, and something I have to consider if my work and its process is to survive.
It's at the point where I am also beginning to believe that I am not as good as I think I am, or was going to be. We always strive for the best and I'm doubting whether I can be that! I feel trapped by trying to earn a living from my work, and that pressure is so huge. I live and breath art and creativity now, which I love, but the work I do on a daily basis is not mine and it's beginning stifle my confidence again. Is that all I can do?
The insight came from Emma Griffin, hi Emma. She and her partner have set up a website called Project Insight, with intent to make a book about artists in their studios. Interviewing local artists in their studios, entering their world for a moment, discovering and offering a new a dimension that an audience would not get a chance to see otherwise. The very talented and lovely Sam Bassett is the first artist, and I think I'm the next one in line after the equally lovely and talented Faye Dobinson. Go to www.projectinsight.blog.com to see more details. Emma is coming to my studio in a couple of weeks and has prompted me to post some pics of my own studio.